How's tricks? I am FlexMc, an 18 year old from Australia. Just started rap

I'd appreciate some support brothers, really need help actually haha.

Well, I wrote my first rhyme tonite ...

and although it wasnt what i expected
it still wasnt tight
i rework it and fill it with my experience
i know i got the perseverence
but my hands are curling into fists
i just realized the last 6 hours
they brought me to this
and my eyes are getting sore
my mind is aching and my soul
a toll is being taken
will i give up or be a prisoner,
lyrically forsaken?
i got a thirst for sleep,
but the hunger for fame is burning too deep!
no i won't stop, i can't give up!
if im gonna stay to write more rhymes,
im at least gonna need some coffee in this cup!


Haha, that really is the first one i have written, but seriously it is SO bad!!
how do i do it?

Listen here as i blast off,
Put the bottle down of that Smirnoff,
Cuz rappin aint about sippin and dranking,
Its about time, toking and thanking,
So as a stank n, of the amazing tree,
im asking u FlexMc, can u follow me?
Cuz the only mc in here goes after the P,
with an A in the middle, cant u see?
PMAC's the name,
rappin's the game,
gangstas wat i claim,
Fame is who i am.

Oh well uh...I am too drunk to taste this chicken.

yo my man, so u fresh to freestyle huh..
first things first, that first lil nursery rhyme u did was not cool..
this is really mostly for battlin so just spit it all...


dont just be rhymin dumb shit...





_____________________________________________

all these bitches cluckin away like hens
but none of they lines make any dam sense
me on the contrary, spit intense
lyrics got u at the edge o ur seat caught in supsense
rhyme so fast, dun left yall in the past tense
futuristic flow and im not commin back
like michael j fox, fly on my hoverboard
now drown in my flow
man overboard