Truth of a Sleeping Society

Put on the Beat.... ricka ricka ricka BooM!!

Power comes from mis-usin the smoke and mirror,
mass confusion to make the truth disappear,
propegating stories that induce fear,
they cause separation; the enemie's near,

as they seek to follow greed and lust,
a remedy needed to weed out the unjust,
serenity is needed before all is but dust,
a must.
A boom as we created will be followed by a bust.

Community held in illusion hocus pocus,
unity is needed to achieve focus,
no immunity exists as they choke us,
no mediation of the media bogus,
a locust shall descend,
as a plague in the form of a friend,
or a keg or a trend, as we try to pretend nothings wrong,
but something is deffinitely wrong... that’s why Im singing this song.


-=FrostD=-

Not bad, Frost. It lacked a real direction. Some of the lines were very vague, which I like, but some people don't. Stay on a direct path next time. I'd also suggest getting into the multiple syllable rhymes. They add a real sense of flow. Like where you said:

"no immunity exists as they choke us/
no mediation of the media bogus/"

You coulda said:

"no immunity exists as they chokes us/
lacking mediation the medias broken/"

also keep your bars either 8 or 16. Even steven.

why wouold I use "broken?" it creates a stretech in word play that is completely unecessarry by using the word bogus. Bogus is a much closer rhyme to focus, while also being a much more descriptive word.

Although I appretiate your criticism, Im inclined to disagree.

Yes I can see. It's really just my personal preference in rhyme scheme. Disjointed flow. Using cryptic rhymes. I'd appreciate your critism on future posts of mine, as you don't seem nearly as backwards as some of the people here.