Another song I wrote. Check it out.

Song 9 half done

My music is real, it comes straight from my heart
Its not for fame or getting a number one spot on the charts
Its not for getting diamonds and chains around my neck
Soothing like going to the islands getting rid of the pains step by step
Letting my minds thoughts hop and flow onto the paper
Letting the signs stop and go and remember them later
Consider myself a creator creating pieces to a puzzle
It just seems right like a pitbull wearing a muzzle


Feeling trapped like I don’t know where I gotta go
I gotta go forward toward the next step in the right direction
School, my job and my wife
Gotta begin to plan my life
While all this shit is going on around now
Terror threat on the news in almost every town now
See a foreign person think a terror plots going down now
Its hard not to do wrong now


Scare tactics failing to scare me haven’t started impairing me
You people aren’t fair to me so we don’t plan to be
What you give is what you get don’t you ever forget
Depends on what Im doing on this particular project
There are songs made to make you feel sad
There are songs made to make you feel glad
This song just happens to make you feel mad
Some people had, bad times, sniffed bad lines and did bad crimes
But eventually people adjusted to the times


Violence rises along with gun misuse
Throw them aside like their non issues
These days if you sneeze they better be on tissues
Everyone paranoid as the army gets deployed
Doing what their told, standing by on hold everyone cold
Politicians are like items for sale on ebay
You can do with them what you want all you gotta do is pay
Resembling pawns on a chessboard they work as a whole
Each one used in a strategic way to complete a goal

there are some really powerful lines in this one. i feel though that it doesn't flow as well as your other piece. the images and satire here that are so strong seem to mixed in with cryptic and what seem to be "on the spot" messages and possibly hidden references. not that they don't have their place but I feel with a bit more attention to the flow of this, it could become stronger then it already is.


i don't know if you want the criticism but when i look at the line

Letting the signs stop and go and remember them later

i think it would be better with: "Letting the stop signs go, remember them later"

It just seems right like a pit bull wearing a muzzle - that's a good line to be interpreted as either ironic or relevant, really liked the placement.

the terrorist issues in the second stand i feel is really overdone and rushed, contrary to media i rarely encounter people who have earnest "patriotic" ideals. not bad though, the political references here i feel are a bit detrimental to the strength of the piece.

the last line is so strong yet the change of rhyme scheme with the word "eBay" really throws it off for me, aside from what i feel is a rushed angst towards politics and bribes, i feel it would be much stronger to emphasize how money can buy innocence through lawyers and strength in courts and how it tends to keep the rich out of prison in certain cases.

don't mean to crack down on your lyrics, i really like the imagery and beat this song puts out, just thought since i had the time you might appreciate some personal views, heh look at is as a potential fan trying to lend a hand