Hail Mary ( My Verse)

Verse 1 start 0:31 sec
I'm Not Jesus Don't Push Me/
Crucify while sweat drip down my body/
awaken by her beauty Hail Mary
lay me in a casket next to her, my hands has been tore/
Hail Mary come with me, I'm going to call you your number I have to dial/
laying on the cross my braces are grown keeping me restraint like barbwire/
conspicuous my eyes like to meander/
to up held images only the third eye can handle/
mystify, she's not shy

chorus
Come with me, Hail Mary
Run quick see, what do we have here
Now, do you wanna ride or die
La dadada, la la la la

it was chill...felt kinda poetry~ish...still pretty good...da only thing was it seemed like u were focused more on showing ya vocab more den really rhyme~n tho...da more u expand ya vocab da better ya skills will become...jus keep playing wit words...and da more u do it da better you'll get at it...i had followed u up...but my computer str8 played me...lol...but da main strength dis 1 was u showed u have some vocab...da only thing was there wasn't much rhyme scheme tho...jus keep at it...but i like da fact dat u write wit a beat...dats jus like me...lol...


aiiight homie...i'll b looking 4ward 2 ya next drop


ghosttt

rude lil dude this is rude where I'm from it means off the fuckin hook it was nice.