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    Written rap, still under construction, could do with some feedback

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    Jannemm
    Fresh Meat

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2014-06-14

    Written rap, still under construction, could do with some feedback

    Post by Jannemm on Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:57 pm

    Mom, I have these visions way back then I was three
    You, Me, Dad and my brother all sitting around the Christmas tree
    We were all opening our presents from Santa Claus
    'Cause this year we could, the first year we didn't get robbed
    I know how hard you saved to get John that fishing rod
    I used to hear you when you got the bills, you'd just sit and sob
    I know things were tough when we were growin' up
    Especially when Dad died, that fuckin' sucked
    I know I flew off the rails that year, I fucked shit up
    I got my act together, I was just out of touch
    I heard about the tax collector, Why'd he take so much?
    Some things I don't remember, I hope you read this letter
    Answer my questions and help me remember better
    Like when the money came through for Dads death
    Why'd you get lipo, for the guys you were tryna impress?
    You could'a paid the bills or just bought a dress

    [CHORUS]

    Two years gone in the blink of an eye
    No money, a drinking problem and a new guy
    We'd go hungry as long as you got your bottle nearby
    John stole money to find some noodles he could buy
    When you found out you didn't even care
    Your son was starving and stealing but you'd just sit and stare
    Too fucked out your face to realize he was even there
    You must know I resuscitated you twice
    Twice, that's fucking twice I've saved your life
    Three times is too much, please don't make it thrice
    Go to rehab and get back to what you used to be
    Dads gone but together again we can be a family
    Just put bottle down and we'll help you get clean
    It'll be just like old times except just with you, John and me
    Please mom, I'm on my knees
    I want it to be like my visions again when I was three

      Current date/time is Sun Dec 17, 2017 1:52 am