Freestyle Rap

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    i wrote a rap, feedback please

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    thatonekid
    Fresh Meat

    Posts : 12
    Join date : 2013-04-28

    i wrote a rap, feedback please

    Post by thatonekid on Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:14 am

    Flowin holy ghost demonized can't deny I'm an anti hero
    I'm bringing the heat like Robert de niro Burnt Rome down the newest version of Nero Then built that shit up till its 1 minus 0 Top of the class but my ass is still broke So I'm fucking up your day for a couple of euro's Hoe I'm a tragic psycho Anglo Saxon Rappin to fuckin faggots stupid maggots Got me lucid trackin blood into the cabin and Blastin music while I hack and saw laughin with the Crew mackin with a sawed off and attackin then baggin the corpses in the back of the bandwagon and shaggin all the way back to the lab then checkin into rehab in case I rehash the past and smack bitches with a fat bag of cash and proceed to snort crack and fuck shit up on these tracks talkin snapbacks and tattoos? fuck that its all about ski masks and tabboo me and my dude zak snackin on mushrooms and knockin back mad booze until I find a Bitch and in a sitch we mad screw lost off a bad brew drank to much so I threw up and fucked society in the face I'm bass god done laced up cranked up I'm fuckin fake tough? Not me I pee acid spit mad libs grab tits and tip back laxatives to fuel my fucking in-ash-atives fuck that shit I'm an alchoholic Dracula my vernaculars spectacular spittin actual rappin factual since my Fag dad dipped his sack in my moms hole shit I'm only 16 stop hating and let me be me

    Mic spitta
    Fresh Meat

    Posts : 15
    Join date : 2014-01-12

    Re: i wrote a rap, feedback please

    Post by Mic spitta on Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:12 pm

    Yo shits so hateful but is yo life that violent? You've evar heard them sirens? You Eva sat admiren, as to why and how you cryin, sittin in front of a body in a closed down lobby of a store, all this just to ensure, gang imitation, so nigga quit to hatin, you sound like a pussy bitch, you prolly are, kind who'd snitch, no gang would pick, couldn't do a lick, but it's not like I care I'm tryna make a point, I don't do that shit I get high smoke a joint, my goals stay on point, and I stay happy no one never mad at me cuz I never mad keep my niggas glad with everything I have, two big ass bags, of weed two different stains one for the body one for the brain, I'm really glad you came, you deserve to participate, when you step in leave the hate, this shit feels like fate it's time we bond, nothing better to help than a bong, 2ft long, this weed is strong, but I gotta smoke the highest grade cuz I'm highly paid so I'm highly blazed, and never have to time to hate on things, cuz I'm with my crew smoking and shit tell our lives are thru

    mInart/yOUn
    Fresh Meat

    Posts : 5
    Join date : 2018-03-16

    Re: i wrote a rap, feedback please

    Post by mInart/yOUn on Fri Mar 30, 2018 4:20 am

    Too much negation, not enough congaretive, should consent on the things you write about, dont flop the bars

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    Re: i wrote a rap, feedback please

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